Moving Beyond All-or-Nothing ... Health Article

One of the first mistakes people make when they fall short of a goal to start exercising, lose weight or stop smoking is to think, "That's it; I've blown it. I'll never make this work."

But a slip doesn't mean you're a failure.

"That's the all-or-nothing trap, and plenty of people fall into it," says Steven Blair, president and CEO of the Cooper Institute in Dallas and author of Active Living Every Day. "People mistakenly think, 'Either I stick to my plan and meet my goal, or I'm a failure and I may as well give up.'" It's important to understand a slip for what it is: a lapse. You may have fallen a step behind, but your hard work isn't lost.

"To get back on track, remind yourself of all you've learned and how much you've accomplished," says Mr. Blair. "With a little effort, you can take two steps forward and keep up the progress you've been making."

When you lapse, it's important to try these strategies from Mr. Blair:

• Be honest with yourself. Admit you've hit a snag. Figure out exactly how long you've lapsed and think about what knocked you off track.

• Turn to your supporters. If you've received encouragement from friends or loved ones in the past, now is the time to turn to them for another pep talk.

• Remember your past successes. Like most people, you've probably made positive changes before. Maybe you cut back on junk food or cut down on the amount of alcohol you drank. Whatever it was, you proved you've got what it takes to change for the better.

• Take small steps. The best way to make lasting change is to begin gradually, reward yourself along the way and plan for times when you fall behind. This is true whether you're just starting to make changes or are starting again after a lapse.

• Set specific goals for getting back on target. Studies of human behavior all come to the same conclusion: The more specific your goal, the more likely you are to reach it. "Confidence comes from setting a goal, making a plan and achieving it," says Mr. Blair.

• Start self-monitoring immediately. If you're adding more physical activity to your day, write down every time you exercise or take the stairs, or use a pedometer to measure how many steps you take each day.

• Reward yourself for getting back on track. A specific reward will focus your commitment and help you over a rough patch. 

• Take one thing at a time. It's easy to be overwhelmed by the demands of work, family and your own needs. When this happens, take a deep breath and set realistic short-term goals. Put the things that are most important to you at the top of each day's to-do list.

• Avoid negative messages. Counter any discouraging self-talk -- the voices that say things such as "failure," "can't" or "never." Now is the time to replace those pessimistic messages with positive ones. Instead of saying, "I can't stick to my plan," remind yourself that you did fine up to this point, and come up with a plan for what you can do from now on.

• Focus on your strengths. This is another way to accentuate the positive. Look back over the period when you were doing well. Think about the personal strengths you discovered.

"Success is an important strength you can leverage," says Mr. Blair. "Once you've identified your personal strengths, think about ways to use them now to get yourself back in the game."